Cory Collier

So after a couple months of being a dad to twins, I’ve come up with a list of stuff that first time parents should know about. Here’s some of the most important stuff Melissa and I use:

• The Slumber Bear: One of the few calming things for babies is white noise. It’s the shhh noise we all know so well. A tip: Do it loudly. When babies are in the womb, the sound of water running by their ear is akin to white noise, and it’s reportedly as loud as a leaf blower. Another Tip: We took the bear skin off, and just use the noise making guts.
• Boppies: When the kids are little, they can’t hold their own head up. When it’s feeding time, you’ll either have to hold them yourself, or have something to hold them for you. That’s the idea behind the Boppy. It may look like a neck pillow for Big Foot, but it’ll give you a spare hand for that beer of yours.
• Probiotics: Babies typically don’t digest food well early on. This is one of the causes of colic kids. So, just like a wastewater treatment plant, you can help get the pipes working by introducing bacteria in your child’s diet. Some of you might sound appalled, but you’ve still got billions of E-Coli in your belly right now.
• Bouncy Seats: I don’t know why, but a bouncing baby is usually a happy one. If baby has eaten, and has a clean diaper, and is still crying, the bouncy seat should be your next plan of attack.
• Swing: Another great way to chill your baby out is to set them in a swing. The bouncy seats are a great way to soothe babies quick, but it still requires you to sit there and bounce them (we’ve yet to find the automatic bouncy seat).
• The Happiest Baby On The Block: The doctor behind this DVD is a bit odd, but his methods work 100%. I knew nothing about raising kids before watching this (the day before Mason and Charlotte were born). Within a couple hours of using the methods described, I was better at calming the kids than anyone else was. This DVD is definitely a must.

I’m sure there’s some stuff out there that some of you have come to rely on a bunch. I’d love to hear what everyone else is using to get by the hardest times. These days, with the help of the previously mentioned tools, things are a lot of fun.

So, a good friend of mine inspired me to try out Crossfit, a workout methodology. After about a month of trying it out, I’m hooked. I’ve lost about 40lbs since last July, but the last month of doing Crossfit has me feeling better than ever.

I did my first ‘Fran‘ on Monday with 135. Apparently that was too much weight. My time came in at a whopping 27 minutes. That’s far too long. So, I’ll drop it to 95 next Monday and give it another shot.

I’m thinking a ‘Helen‘ is in order for Friday.

The whole concept of Crossfit is to work out harder than you think possible, using big motions and total exertion. I’ve been trying all of this out on my own, but pretty soon I think I’m gonna need to get to the Firebase for some teamwork.

On October 9, 2009, Mason and Charlotte were brought into the world. It’s been quite the experience since then. Some things have been great, some have not. As usual, I have a bit of a different perspective on things than what I hear from most.

First off, Mason and Charlotte are awesome. I can’t begin to put into words how much emotion pours out of me when I get to hold them. I held judgement on whether I would like them or not. After 17 days, I can say I genuinely love them.

Mostly …

So, the one thing that still feels like a rattlesnake biting my cheek; is the sound of babies crying. I don’t know how to describe the agony of hearing them cry, but after 17 days, I can say it’s not much better when they’re your own.

That gets me to everyone else:

The one thing I notice about most folks who interact with the kids, is that crying is only a minor inconvenience to them. I hear people saying how cute it is, while baby-talking to the screaming baby. When I mention how much the sound of them crying bothers me, I’m usually treated like an oddity. It’s like folks think I’m gonna get over it.

Imagine if I were to pinch you in the nipple with pliers, while telling you: “It’s fine. Why are you so upset”.

Other than the crying, the lack of sleep that entails having twins is especially brutal. I’m a big dude, so sleep isn’t something to joke about for me. I’ve lost 40 lbs since last July. At this rate, I’m going to be the size of my kids by next year.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my kids. When they’re happy, nothing feels better than to hold them and hang out with them. Every now and then, I have to hold one of them on my pillow with me to sleep. You just can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up with your daughter’s forehead on yours.

I guess the point of all of this, is that for most guys, babies are mostly hell. The screaming and the lack of sleep make you completely crazy. I walk down the street these days waiting for someone to look at me the wrong way. I could use the chance to let out some built up frustration on someone wearing a popped collar.

:/

Things have been pretty busy for Melissa and I over the last few weeks. Melissa’s finally on Maternity leave, which is great considering almost everything is getting difficult for her these days (twins are no joke). The one thing that both of us have been pretty busy on lately, is getting the kids room ready.

We’ve done a bunch to the house to prepare. We’ve had the carpets cleaned, moved rooms around, and got the nursery setup. It’s been an interesting process. Anyways, here’s some pics of everything.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/corycollier/3870999911/in/set-72157622187046976/

So, over the last few months, a lot of life lessons have become much more relevant for me than in any time in my life prior. Of all of these lessons, priorities seems to be the most important for me. I, like many of us, feel a want or need for a number of things. Those things vary from a beer, to food.

Obviously, food should seem the larger priority. However, in recent times, when the world has seemed to stack the deck against me, beer seemed like the priority. Don’t get me wrong, beer is cool, and so are a number of other things that seemed like a priority before. However, if you’re against the ropes (metaphorically speaking), a beer isn’t going to help you: A hard right hook will.

I apologize for talking in seeming code here. The point is: when life seems impossible, creature comforts aren’t the answer to getting out of the situation, decisive action is. The problem with decisive action when life is tough, is it’s much harder to do. Moreover, action usually entails things that seem underneath you, or degrading. Make no mistake however, inaction degrades your circumstance more than digging ditches.

I’m a bit lucky about this realization. Melissa is pregnant, and my ability to provide for her is quite necessary. Many folks don’t find themselves in such a seemingly desperate, but overall enlightening situation.

I write this, because lately I’ve had the opportunity to realize that previous complacency was actually creating the situation I was unhappy with. It’s revealing, to say the least. But hopefully, someone will get something out of it.

Web Development is one of the fastest growing industries in the world. Nearly every day some new product or development turns the whole scene on it’s head. Just a dozen years ago, the thought of being a web developer was less than promising for most folks. Today, that’s quite different.

There’s a huge catch in all of this though. Web developers are quite possibly the dumbest professionals on the earth. No other industry sees it’s standard salaries and income vary as much as the web development industry. Imagine trying to pick between one lawyer who charges $300 / hr, or one that charges $10 / hr. The cheaper one sounds enticing, but we all know you usually get what you pay for.

That’s the trouble with the web. Because so many developers are willing to provide services for next to nothing (for a variety of reasons), the entire industry suffers. There’s just not much consistency in what people expect to pay for professional web dev services.

And now, professional companies are starting to get into this mindset as well. As I’ve been trolling for steady jobs, I’ve seen tons of positions open for senior web developers that pay $15 to $20 / hr.

That’s an insultingly low rate to pay a senior web developer. The skillset and intelligence required to perform solid web development duties is typically on par with my own background in structural and civil engineering. This stuff is complicated, and $15  / hr isn’t reflective of the skill required to successfully create and implement a good web app.

So, what will likely happen, is good paying jobs will be more geo-centric to tech hubs throughout the country (New York, San Francisco, etc..), and the remaining web development work will be limited to implementations of the products that come out of those areas.

The variety that’s made the web so intriguing for years, will likely fade to a much more bland version of the web, filled with millions of cookie-cutter websites about uninteresting products and services.

It’s frustrating, because even some of my closest friends feel the need to undercut their services to get work. My own colleagues and buddies are helping to enforce the un-sustainability of our own careers.